I couldn't believe myself. Was it a stroke of good fortune or was I dreaming? I landed a dream job which involves my first love (sciences). It was too good to be true - a good boss, a great working environment and a dream job - all on my wish list two years ago. Back then the option wasn't even available to me, so I had to take the 2nd best option on my list, also another interest. I felt like a con artist, but I don't lie and can't bluff. It'll be against what I believe in anyway. I didn't bluff my way through to earn my academic degree but had worked hard for it to make up for what I couldn't manage earlier. If there weren't too many obstacles in my way, I would have been a perfectly brilliant individual who sailed through school, and eventually a conceited corporate monster sitting at the top of the ladder. But that will mean, missing out knowing the many wonderful people and the few horrid jerks in my life. I felt like the brilliant 10-year-old all over again, without the burden of the family on my shoulders. I don't know how much stress a normal person can take without cracking under the weight. It's been years now and I'm 32. I was born on the 2nd day of January so that will add one more year in the dumps.
It's the start of the weekend, and I'm stuck vetting my friend's thesis. I seemed to be stuck at helping people edit their stuff, but it's not without merits. A young aspiring writer once thanked me for helping her win a prize for her poem, and all I ever questioned was why the abrupt change (more details at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/writersanonymous2/message/392). I've since moved on to some other things. But it was through this girl that I was motivated to take a big step to improving myself. I've no idea who she was, and she never knew me either. For now I felt sooo lethargic that I want to skip House just to catch some precious sleep.
I felt flawed. I am used to be a JO, somebody's underling / subordinate and suddenly I'm offered a senior position. Will I be able step up to the challenges that come with this job? Why didn't my future boss interrogate me like the numerous others during the job interviews? In this clime, everybody's dying to have a job, and even if it meant attending two rounds of hostile interviews. I'm already so used to two rounds of interviews. The other recent interview that I had attended, was also a panel interview (three people). I was actually asked how would I deal with a case, and it kindda won over the interviewers (one of them, "Amy" a former DD who used to know Hung Kiong) that they kept saying that "(I was) an idealist" before ending the interview with "You are an interesting person". Were they fascinated with my brother or in my capabilities?
(thoughts in progress)
